episode#194

194: Tah Whitty, Emotional Navigation Coach & Trauma Healer: How Radical Honesty & Psychedelics Transformed 30 Years Of Insomnia

Biography

Tah Whitty is a Master Emotional Navigation Coach, Registered Nurse of 32 years, and co-founder of The Condor Approach, the world’s leading certification for Psychedelic Informed Integration Coaches. An expert in trauma and shadow navigation, Tah helps Gen-X individuals unlock emotional and physical healing. He also leads EmotionALL, SisTah Sanctuary, and Free Bruh, empowering individuals through retreats and masterminds.

Tah’s work in conflict resolution and mediation has saved clients millions in legal fees by fostering clarity and collaboration. Known for his epic hugs and full presence, Tah inspires safety, connection, and transformation worldwide.

In this episode, we discuss:

😴 Tah’s severe insomnia for nearly 30 years - Until he discovered this life-changing truth

😴 How Tah’s radical honesty transformed his sleep, body, and overall well-being

😴 The impact of childhood trauma, control, and hypervigilance on sleep patterns

😴 How dishonesty creates stress and impacts the nervous system

😴 The role of psychedelics in uncovering deeper truths and unlocking healing

😴 Understanding the “body of truth” and how authenticity affects health

😴 The connection between sleep, safety, and emotional honesty

😴 Practical tools to shift from survival mode to deep rest

😴 What we can learn from Tah’s sleep routine

😴  Tah’s daily mantra,  I sleep amazingly. I slept the whole night straight through.  I wake up refreshed 10 out of 10. Energized 10 out of 10. And rested 10. And in the morning I track to see where I am in that 10 out of 10. Sometimes it's 10.”

😴 And so much more!

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GUEST LINKS:

Instagram: http://instagram.com/tahfree


DISCLAIMER:

The information contained in this podcast, our website, newsletter, and the resources available for download are not intended to be medical or health advice and shall not be understood or construed as such. The information contained on these platforms is not a substitute for medical or health advice from a professional who is aware of the facts and circumstances of your individual situation.

Mentioned Resources

Guest contacts

Transcription

 Welcome to the Sleep as a Skill podcast. My name is Mollie Eastman. I am the founder of Sleep as a Skill, a company that optimizes sleep through technology, accountability and behavioral change. As an ex sleep sufferer turned sleep course creator, I am on a mission to transform the way the world thinks about sleep.

Each week, I'll be interviewing world class experts ranging from researchers, doctors, innovators, and thought leaders to give actionable tips and strategies that you can implement to become a more skillful sleeper. Ultimately, I believe that living a circadian aligned lifestyle is going to be one of the biggest trends in wellness.

And I'm committed to keeping you up to date on all the things that you can do today. To transform your circadian health and by extension, allowing you to sleep and live better than ever before.

Welcome to the sleep is a skill podcast. Today's guest has lived through decades of severe insomnia and emerged with insights that go beyond conventional sleep advice. Meet Tah Whitty, a master emotional navigation coach, a registered nurse with over 32 years of experience, and co founder of The Condor Approach, a leading certification for psychedelic informed integration coaches.

Tah's experience in trauma, emotional healing, and nervous system regulation has helped countless people reclaim their health and rest. For nearly 30 years, Tah functioned on just three to four hours of sleep a night, stuck in a cycle of hypervigilance and stress. His turning point didn't come from quick fix sleep hacks.

It came from radical honesty by addressing the hidden ways dishonesty and control kept his body on high alert. He was able to rewire his sleep patterns naturally. If you're struggling with sleep and looking for deeper long term solutions. This conversation is for you. Tah's story is an honest look at the emotional and physiological factors that can keep us awake and what it really takes to break through.

So we're going to jump right into this podcast. I think you're going to be really fascinated. I know Tah personally and have been continually impressed with his integrity and commitment to sharing information that will make a difference for people. So we're going to jump right in, but first a few words from our sponsors and please do check them out.

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So again, go to you block out spelled the letter U. block out and use code sleep as a skill for a discount.  And welcome to the sleep is a skill podcast. A quick call out apologies. I messed up on my tech side of things. So if I sound a little funky, uh, don't be alarmed. Uh, I just do not have my mic on me, but thankfully our guest has the best voice and the tech and all the things, not only that, but he is going to just share such an incredible story of inspiration.

around sleep. So, Tah, thank you so much for taking the time to be here. Hey, Molly. Thanks for having me. It's an honor, a privilege, and I am so geeked to be here because this is one of my favorite podcasts in the world. Let's go. I cannot. My head is floating away. I am such a fan of you such a fan of your partner in crime and just the who you are in the world.

So I'm very, very excited and for my own self to learn more about your story. I know pieces of it as it relates to your sleep, but I'm really excited to hear more details and then be able to share this with our listeners. Because what we know is that so many people are showing up listening to this podcast in varying states or with their sleep.

Some people really in acute situations and they're just looking for. Supports or inspiration or just a sense that like they're not stuck like this and you really serve that for me just such a beautiful example of what's possible. So maybe just a little bit of background about you and how you're thinking about your sleep nowadays after many years of a particular relationship to it.

Yeah, well, thank you for asking this and thank you for doing this. This is something this podcast is something that I wish I had when I started my journey. When I started realizing the depth of my journey around my sleep, um, I have what I called or I had what I called insomnia and. I was sleeping  three, maybe four hours tops for almost 30 years.

I'm on my 53rd, I just passed my 53rd birthday.

By the way, I know if you're not watching the video, Todd looks like, I don't know, 25 or something. So in case any of you, I've been there when we're going through this like, throes of our insomnia, we might be like, Oh, we're going to age horribly. This is going to be awful. Like, what are we doing to our health? Just, uh, as an example of what's possible, Todd, just. Looks like a young and so keep keep going. Thank you, fam. I appreciate that. And if you look at photos of me from 15, 20 years ago,  don't even resemble the same person like people tell me that I feel they feel like I'm aging in reverse right now.

And so I've really. Unhinged some wonderful things about my nervous system and my body and how things work and how things can work when you do the work  for yourself. And when you take sleeps, we need to take sleep as a, as a very important part of your existence, your regeneration, your recalibration, your re energization of the self is so important when it comes to sleep.

That's where we recuperate. And  as a child, I had a lot of issues.  Around who I was and my self esteem and the.  vantage point that my mother had on me. And my brother was born 23 months after I was born 23 months after my brother.  And I asked my mother why we were so close in age at one point. And she said, well, you were the surprise baby.

We didn't plan for you. And so I took that as I was a mistake.  And so I forged my entire life around pleasing my mother,  not falling out of her grace and being terrified of that. I was also in a space where I was menaced by my brother.  And there was physical violence, there was emotional violence in my direction from that, from him.

And you know, we've since reconciled all of that stuff. And I had a lot of issues around being seen as a human being. And so I learned to lie. I learned to lie about everything  and the lying was an effort to control my environment.  And so I learned to lie. And so anything that you could imagine lying about, I was lying about, I could hold up something like I could hold this pen up.

That's orange and say, Oh no, that's blue. And I would actually do my best to convince you that it was blue in a very, very, uh, Defective manner. And  so since I was so hypervigilant and afraid,  I had issues with everything. And when I was a kid, I would wet the bed. And so I would go to sleep and I would sleep so hard because I was terrified that I could not get up.

And so I would wet the bed. And so I would wet the bed until I was around 14.  And my brother was telling people at school that I went to bed, and so I didn't want to go into high school because I was going to the same high school that he was going to, and he hated that. And I was terrified that he would tell other people, and so I just stopped going to sleep.

And so I would sit up in class, I would wear shades in class and kind of close my eyes during school. And so I trained my body how to not sleep, and I didn't know how to get out of it.  And so this went on for years and years and years. And then the exhaustion cycle was just, it just wrecked me. And when I grad, I graduated from high school, I went to college, I, you know, I was messing around in college, I mean in high school, so I got terrible grades.

So I went to a community college, but they had the best nursing school in the country.  And so the, the, our, our passing rate for the state boards for nursing was the highest in the country. And so I went to nursing school, I excelled in nursing school, and I graduated in 1992 at the age of 20. I  couldn't sleep.

I worked my first two years on the evening shift from four to 12. And then I was like, I'm just going to work at night. And this fortified, this was, this was perfect for me because I wasn't sleeping anyway.

Yeah.

And It was nightmarish for me and I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep when I got home. I just couldn't sleep at all.

Like I would sleep for three or four hours and then I would wake up.  I would jump out of the bed like something was happening, like a tiger was coming to get me

and I couldn't go back to sleep. And so this went on and on and on and on and affected my relationships.  What was happening with me was,  I was so vigilant about the lies that I was telling to everybody, my brain was doing its best to keep track of all of the lies.

And since my brain was on fire all the time, my adrenaline was high, my cortisol was up all the time, waking me up, right? Because cortisol is a, is a hormone that's Keeping you there to prepare you for stuff to be activated. And so I'm activated all the time and I wasn't, I didn't get sleepy, but I was exhausted.

Like I was wiped out all the time and I was super sharp as a nurse.  And I was terrified that,  that, that somebody would die. So I wasn't asleep at all at the hospital. I was wide awake and I was, I mean, I'm, and you want to talk about a great nurse. I'm, I'm an amazing nurse. Like  people wanted to work with me because I was so sharp and I was so present all the time.

You're probably like, I was, I was so present all the time.

Yeah.

And.  I started to get disenfranchised with the healthcare industry, you know, from the inside out. I saw what was happening with the system and I saw them making repeat customers out of people. And I just, I was the one place that I felt I could be honest was at the hospital.

Okay. Itwas the one place I felt I could be honest. And when I saw what the system was doing, the pushing of certain medications, um, you know, the flu shot situation, I watched the acceleration of how they were administering flu shots to people and it would just, it just started to get really wonky in my eyes.

And then when the H1N1 thing happened, I started to question. the flu shot. And I was like, a couple of my colleagues got, took the flu shot and they started to have some weird neurological dynamics. So I refused to take it. And I started to become really disenfranchised with this system.  And I started to say, I got to get out of here.

I got to get out of here. I don't know what to do. So I went into personal training. I was doing personal training already, but I went harder. into the personal training space. And I was looking to make a transition out on the side. I was also touring as the hip hop artist. Like, I don't know. Yeah.

I toured around, I toured around the United States and Europe as a hip hop artist called top from the bush.

Cause I'm from Flatbush, Brooklyn. And so on the underground, I was pretty popular. My, actually my largest fan base is in the Czech Republic. If you can, if you can imagine, I toured around New York a bunch. And so me not sleeping was great for that.  So between, between nursing and trying to figure things out, my music career wasn't carrying me financially.

I was trying to find a way out and it got, I got to a point where I fractured my spine,  lifting a patient in a hospital  and I couldn't work anymore.  And so I was out of work. And I couldn't train anybody in personal training anymore. I couldn't tour. So I was sitting in my house for three months. And at that time, I was in a relationship for eight years and that relationship dissolved at that moment.

She decided that she was out  and Cole and I had started doing fitness challenges. I was doing fitness challenges and helping, we were helping people lose weight and stuff. I mean, Nicole were friends and, you know, kind of, uh, kind of, you know, horizontal to mambo buddies, but we learned. You know, we weren't in a relationship at that time.

And so Cole said to me one day, she said, Hey, you know,  I see where you are and I see the challenges you're having, and I know something that might help you. And I was like, well, what's that? And she's like, well, it's a ceremony. And I was like, well, what's a ceremony? And she's like, well, you go into this room and you sit with these people in a circle and you take these, these, these plants and you go into the psychedelic realm and you find yourself. And I was like, Oh, you want me to do some drugs with some hippie white people? I'm not doing that. And, uh,  I'm not doing that shit. And so,  uh, I, I trusted Cole and I still do trust Cole more than I've ever trusted another human being in my life.

And so I had this psychedelic experience and in this psychedelic experience, Uh, I was terrified for the first two hours. Absolutely terrified on what you would call a heart opener. And people were confused because nobody has a heart opening experience and is terrified and is in this dark space.  And what was happening to me is I was feeling my heart open, but I wouldn't allow it.

I was trying to control it because

I wasn't used to. Being open.

Yeah.

I was used to being closed. I was so hard programmed to being closed. And so at one point Cole asked me that she was like, can you just let go? And so I let go and I let myself be just for the first time in my life that I could ever remember.

I let myself be, and I let go of trying to control things and my body relaxed for the first time that I could remember.  And it was at that point that I recognized that I was a control freak because I was trying to, I was actually looking before the, this experience happened, I was looking around trying to control how people saw me, you know, how I sat and like, I'm not in pain and all of this stuff.

And the realization that I had was that I was trying to control things all the time.  And so this opened me up to explore what was going on with me as an individual, what was happening with me. And so over the gradient of the next two years, I explored myself and  there was a point where Cole came over one night  with, uh, with  With Henry, my, my chihuahua, she came over with him and she stayed at my house and I went to sleep and I slept for six hours  and I was like, what is this?

I was like, what's going on? And this was after this was months, like. Down the road, maybe six or seven months after this first psychedelic experience and I went to sleep for six hours and I woke up feeling better than I had in, I can't tell you,

and I was like, oh, it's coal, coal is the remedy to my insomnia.

I can't leave coal. And so,  so about a year later. I had been sleeping in spaces of  between five and six hours and I didn't get, I couldn't get beyond six hours and, and I was like, all right, you know, some nights I can still can't sleep and then  when Cole would come over, I would sleep. And so I backtracked what happened that very first night.

And that very first night. That Cole came over, we sat there and we shared all these things that we had never shared with anybody. And I shared all these secrets that I had been keeping in my body. And every time I shared a secret, my body relaxed a little more because Cole didn't, Cole didn't flinch.

And so  what I did after I had that realization that that's what happened at night was I started calling people up.

And saying, Hey, um, I got something I need to share with you. I'm terrified to share it with you, but I need to share it with you. And I would tell people the lies that I told them.  

And as I started to tell them, and they, and I would leave this space open for them to say whatever they needed to say, curse me out, whatever it was, um, most of it was a lot easier than I thought it would be, but my body relaxed more and more and my sleep started to increase.

I started to get more sleep because I wasn't, my body wasn't holding the lies. So what I started to do was research myself and my clients around the dishonesty that they were having in their lives. And I was inviting them into the space of just kind of playing with being honest in incremental spaces.

And every person that I worked with that was more honest in an incremental space, their bodies relaxed, their diseases went away and their sleep improved. Each person.  Okay. And so this is like, I'm a nurse. And so I, I herald myself on taking notes on people. That's one of the things that with the psychedelic experiences, when I started facilitating psychedelic experiences years back,  I started, I was tracking what was going on with everybody and what would help them.

And when they were integrating, I would track that stuff. So I'm tracking myself and I'm tracking all of these people that are being, starting to be more honest and seeing. And so what I figured out was.  The human brain is constantly working, right? And when we're awake.  And resting, doing nothing. The brain uses about 20 to 25 percent of your resources.

20 to 25%. When you start to get active, the resources start to go up more and more and more. Now, when I'm lying and I have multiple people around me, my brain has to keep track of all the lies and all the people and delineate all of the stories that I've told each person. And if I'm in a room full of multiple people that I've lied,  in different ways about, I have to make sure that the lies don't overlap and, and nobody finds out about this and that.

And the third thing, and so this hypervigilance was driving all of this stuff. And the more I was honest and the more I felt safe, the more my nervous system we got to calm down, the less brain usage I was having. And so the less brain usage I was having, the less resources my brain was using, the less my kidneys had to work, the less my lungs had to work to remove all the carbon dioxide and all the amyloid beta and stuff that was building up in my brain.

I didn't have all of that. anymore. And so my body had actually more room to relax,  recuperate and regenerate itself and pull back on all of the aging and all of the, the, the, the disruptive things that were happening in my body. And there was a point. And my, like I was doing fitness six days a week and I wasn't losing any body fat.

And when I started to be honest, I started to, I started to lose body fat just easily because the cortisol was dropping, you know, cortisol gets us to hold on to body fat. And so I started to explore the realm of honesty and really dive into this stuff about honesty. And I saw all the things that were keeping me trapped.

keeping me stuck. And I started to structure around this. And then I started having all these incoming informational things come in to help me structure this, to teach other people.  And that is the space that has been absolutely wonderful for me was to let go of the lies and the dishonesty and to start, and I'm still, and I still have a list.

I have a list of people that I'm calling and it's, you know, I can only do it as my nervous system can handle it. Plus I have. business plus I have my wife and all of these things, but the, and like the place that I started, all of this honesty stuff was on Facebook. I got on Facebook one day and I did a live and I was just like, I did this and I had sex with this person and these things and blah, blah, blah, and all of this shit.

And I just went off and my phone started ringing the next day that day. And the next day, nonstop with people saying, Oh my God, I can relate. I can relate to this so much. And, you know, I thought you were lying to me, right? And I got to have more conversations about things and the people were actually very, very supportive and it helped us to heal on both sides.

And so now the relaxation factor that I have with all people has jumped up 200 percent and my sleep has improved. Now I'm sleeping last night. I slept eight hours.

Wow. Eight hours last night, girl. And it has been more and more commonplace for me to sleep seven, eight hours than ever in my life. This past year has been consistent six, seven, eight hour nights.

And my, my rest factor has gone up. My energy is up, my fitness is like all of these things. And it's. Just been wonderful. So that's, you know, that's a little story.  

I mean, these stories are so important. I don't know if during your journey, I think maybe different people have different flavors of things.

But when I was going through my period of insomnia, I just wanted to hear examples of people getting to the other side, you know, because I would also go down forums and whatever and people be like, Oh, it's, you know, now you're stuck like this or whatever. Get, you know, strapped in because now you're going to be taking sleeping pills or you're going to be doing this, you're going to be, and so the fear would be so high of like catastrophic thinking of like, yep, there's no way out of this helpless, hopeless.

So you sharing your story, but also not just like, well, I started, you know, meditating or nothing wrong with these things, but to get to, I think what can be at the heart of So many of these things, which makes it more complicated because it's not like, you know, a five quick tips to get your sleep back on track.

It's really getting at the root of some of the lack of workability in our life. And that's the real work. So this radical honesty and you feel like the psychedelic piece was to help unlock some of that. So for anyone listening, would you suggest like, so if people are coming your way and They're at some form of or stage of this period of having trouble with their sleep.

I don't know if it was before we hit record or not, but kind of a individualized sport. I think you had, uh, kind of referred to sleep as different things for different people. But do you think that for the average person? Just starting to explore areas of inauthenticity that might be present, kind of airing that out and exploring psychedelics are two possible things.

What do you think about that?

Yeah, I think a lot about it and great questions. Thank you for asking these.

I know there's a lot of questions.

Yeah, no, you're great. This  sleep is an individual sport that you can play on the team, right? Like I get like, right. And like Cole has her individual sleep situation.

I have my individual sleep state situation. We can play on a team with it and see what works the most optimal for both of us. You

know?

And so this is where like your, your, your podcast, this podcast is a part of the team for me. It's like, if I, I know how to get myself into a more.  Functional sleep cycle, and so I can show people what I'm doing, but I also send them to you because you have this myriad of tools that are just waiting for people to use, and so they can pick and choose and play, and so you have to play before you can actually learn how to shoot the ball into the basket.

You have to actually have to get the ball, and if shooting the ball with your with your wrist turned out is not working for you, then turn your wrist in a little bit. You know, it's different for everybody. And so we can use all these tools. This is, this is part of it.  The psychedelic ends. Um, I do recommend that people, if you're having challenges and medication is not working for you, getting into the root of things, I'm not saying dig for the root, but getting to the root of things can actually show you where the issue is, not where the issue was started.

And so the issue, where the issue was started with me was my issue around my mom. Like, I found the root cause. That wasn't changing anything. But the what, the dynamic that was ch was challenging me was, I was lying to everybody. That's what the issue was. The issue was I was dishonest. And so what I did was I created a body around dishonesty and in order to maintain that dishonesty, I had to keep pumping these particular hormones into my body that were keeping me awake.

And so my body was fashioned around that. And when you look at how the amount of body fat that I was holding on to the shape of my body, the, all of the hormone cycle of my body fashioned itself around staying awake around being hypervigilant. And we can do this, we can do, the body takes the shape of our, of our function.

We don't function according to the body shape. When you go to the gym and you're doing bicep curls, your biceps take the shape of the function.  Right. And so if I'm lying, my body takes the shape of dishonesty. And this is part of the issue with most people that I see is they don't recognize the what that they're doing.

They're looking for the why that's driving it. And so my inspiration for the clients that I work with is what, look for the what behind the why. What are you doing to fortify this? The narrative is wonderful. I can make up a million things as to why I have insomnia. What is driving the insomnia? So when I had my psychedelic experience, I found out what I was doing.

What I was doing was looking to control my environment. And so what I needed to do was let go of controlling my environment. What would help me doing that? was being honest. Okay. Being honest. And so do you know Susan Bratton?

Yes, of course.

So Susan, I said, I mean, Susan, whenever Susan comes to, to Austin, we have dinner and she came to Austin and we had dinner and I was talking to her about my insomnia and she was like, Oh my gosh.

And she said, Todd, what you have now is the body of truth. What you're making is the body of truth. And I was like, holy shit. And she was like, that's your angle. And so I started, so that's something that I'm starting to build into everything that I'm doing is that I am building a body of truth. And most of the people that I know have built a body around dishonesty of some sort, masking, people pleasing, uh, posture syndrome, all of these things that people are talking about on the internet are all built on different forms of dishonesty.

Now, this, the only form of, most people say that dishonesty is lying. Lies are one type of dishonesty. When I am trying to present myself all the time a certain way so that people like me, that is dishonesty. And you can build a body around that. And so you build a posture around that. And if your body is hypervigilant to keep your posture a certain way, it has to drive certain hormones and it drives those certain hormones in, uh, in a habitual pattern.

And that habitual pattern gets built into the body and then over a particular amount. So  from, from the studies that I've done, it takes about 90 days to start a habit. It takes about a year to begin a lifestyle pattern, and it takes about seven years to create a personality trait that you build into the body structure.

And that body structure actually supports the personality things coming up. And this is why when people are traumatized, right, and trauma is a, from, from my vantage point, trauma is your response to anything that disrupts wholeness.  It's a response to anything that disrupts wholeness. And so this wholeness of your identity, your ideas, your thoughts, your constructs, somebody threatens your religion, that gets disrupted, your body getting disrupted.

That is what brings trauma online. And if we get used to trauma  responses happening all the time, the body gets built around creating a trauma response. And so if I thought that my identity would be threatened. by somebody knowing who I am, right?  The identity that I wanted them to have of me,  that drives the trauma response.

And so my body is built around the trauma response. Now,  the thing about lies is what do we, why do we lie? Why do you think we lie, Molly?

Well, you pointed to the control piece, you know, so to kind of keep things in what we hope in a manner that we hope can stay within our sense of control, kind of control the narrative in a way that we think we want to be perceived, uh, things like that.

Top of mind. So the perception, the sort of perception needs to be protected?

Yes. Yes. Well, yeah. So if it needs to be protected, there's an underlying situation there that it is unsafe.

Yes, the truth is an unsafe space. It's unsafe to express the truth. It's unsafe to receive the truth. It's unsafe to be in a truth.

So I will hide the truth. The truth needs to be protected or I need to be protected from the truth. So the truth becomes an unsafe space and in that unsafe space, we become hypervigilant and we drive the body to become a machine that is built around dishonesty. Now, foundationally, we are in our truth when we were born, we're in our truth until we're taught how to be dishonest.

When you look at animals, they're in their truth all the time.

Yeah.

We, we look to control their behaviors, sit down, do this, but they want to get up and run around and do these things and fly and all this stuff. And we look to control that. And that's when, when animals are controlled, that's when they get really stressed,  right?

They get really stressed. And so when we are controlled, we get really stressed. And we're, we're looking to control our truth, which is our foundational dynamic and situation is who I am, what I want to say  when we are, and, and we blockade that with one in one very, very big, challenging thing. And that's a shame, something is wrong with how we are, something is bad with how we are, something is broken about how we are, something's not enough about how we are, something's too much about who we are.

You know, and so shame is a control device that we implant into people so that they are limited and they are small. And so if we're infinitely big and large,  it's our truth. And it's inconvenient for a lot of things and a lot of people. And so we've been taught to keep ourselves very small through dishonesty.

And we build our bodies around dishonesty. We wear clothes not just to protect us from the environment, but so that people can't see who we really are.

And so we become terrified when we become naked, when we become raw, when we, when our truth is expressed. And so that terror is always lingering in the background.

What will I look like with my hair messy? What will I look like without my makeup? What will I look like? What will people think about me if I walk this way? If they see my football, my little belly, right, what would, what would they think about? And so we, we drive these bodies into a space of hypervigilance.

There are a lot of people who can't sleep, who have challenges with sleeping because they are in this space of hypervigilance all the time. And it's one of the things that if it hasn't  significantly shifted somebody's. insomnia into complete night's sleep, it has actually Definitely changed their sleep patterns.

And so this is an add on, this is a tack on space for some people. Some people are going to have things that they can't get out of. They're going to have violent relationships or, or  dynamics with the government and finances that they can't get out of that may make them hypervigilant. But if they stack that on top of this honesty with their family members, if you're lying in bed with another human being that you can't be honest with,  come on fam.

Come on, fam, if you are lying in a bed with somebody that you cannot be honest with, your body is, is, is on alert, whether you realize it or not, you know? And so this is where the, the psychedelic experiences that I've supported people through and that have come to me after psychedelic experiences,  I'm, my encouragement is, can we talk to your partner about you being safe?

In your honesty, because if your partner doesn't accept who you are, and honesty is going to keep driving this complex more and more, and we want to peel the layers back and get you to be as honest as possible so that you can regenerate and rejuvenate into the new person that you are becoming.  

And so, so, right.

And so when you look at my body, what I'm doing is I'm creating a new person every day, creating a new person. And so each experience that I have, my body has to adjust into the new person. If I'm holding myself back, I'm creating the old person,  trying to hold on to the old person. So the body is formulating itself around the old, and then it becomes decrepit and aged.

Because it's holding on. And so when you, when you're constantly recycled, recycling and making yourself new, you become a new person. And this is what happens when we sleep. We recycle, we take out all the waste products and we create the new being when we are asleep.  

And when we get in the way of that sleep process, we get aged, right?

We get decrepit. We fall apart. All of these things happen because during the sleep cycle, the body is just functioning to survive. Right? Right.

Yeah. And the survival is the basis in a condor approach. We talk about  what we call the three points of ease. And they are safety,  connection, and fulfillment. And they drive all of the emotions that we have.

And safety is the bedrock. That is the poverty line,  right? If you can't, if you're not safe, your unpleasant emotions are going to come online. Anger, frustration, you know, hypervigilance, bases, sadness. All of these things are down here. When you get into the connection space, you start to feel affection. You start to feel all these different things.

And when you get stripped of affection and all that connection stuff, you start to feel sadness and you move down into the safety space. When you're connected, then you can move into a fulfillment space. And that's where you have the upper echelon emotions like bliss, like joy, all of that stuff is at the top level.

So we look for safety, connection, and fulfillment. And most people are in the safety realm. And that safety realm has a particular hormone mix.  The connection realm has another hormone mix. And the fulfillment level has a different hormone mix, right? And so the safety level is where we're not supposed to, that's not what, from my vantage point, we're not designed to dwell in the safety space.

We're not designed to dwell there. We're designed to dwell in connection with other people, the environment, our food, our movement, our truth.

Yeah. And then when we get into, when we get into fulfillment, that's when we have the upper echelon space. That's when we can get into, to deep dream states and fulfillment and all of the possibilities that we can create it.

But when we're trying to do all that stuff and we're in survival mode, the hormone complexes don't support that. They support just staying alive. And that's where we have the hyper sympathetic spaces, fight or flight.  That's the baseline spaces and it's hard for us to really be expansive in that, to be in love, to get erections and to have vaginal, vaginal excitement, moistness, all of that stuff happens in the upper echelon, emotional spaces, in the connection space and a fulfillment space.

And so when we look at that, our sleep spaces are not, if you're on hyper alert all the time in survival mode, your sleep is going to be challenged. And so this is the, this is part of what we teach at the condor approaches. Are you safe? Are you connected? Are you fulfilled? If not, how do you get safe first?

How do you get connected? And then what's the drive to be fulfilled after that, you can't go, you can't be in the safety space and be sure. This is why I have clients like my right now, my client roster is always loaded because I have all of these amazing entrepreneurs who know all these systems and how to make money, but they're not safe.

And since they're not safe, the connection space with their families gets, gets jostled. And then the money that they're making is actually not fulfilling.  

Totally. They don't perceive the fulfillment. I have all this money and I did all this stuff and I have the systems and I still feel like shit because they're not safe.

And so in that safety space, they're unable to sleep. And this is the, this is, this is the. Entrepreneurial community is rife with people who have insomnia. Totally. Wow. If you've tuned in to  the show or followed any of our content here at Sleep is a Skill, you may have heard that everyone that we work with wears the Oura Ring.

And as a result, we have amassed a very large database of Oura Ring users and get to see what really moves the needle for people when it comes to their sleep. measurably. Now, because we have so much data around sleep optimization, many ask what they can do to improve their sleep quality. And for years, my answer has been that one of the few things I've seen make such an overnight difference is the use of a quality cooling mattress topper.

Not just any ordinary topper that claims to be cooling with like gels or what have you, but an actual cooling topper that uses water and can be dynamically adjusted to suit your unique needs and preferences. Now, this is why I am so excited to announce that Eight Sleep is now an official sponsor of the podcast.

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So if you're ready to take your sleep to the next level, head on over to eight, sleep and use the code. Sleep is a skill, all one word at checkout for a discount.  Okay, so quick question on the psychedelic piece, because we really haven't done much on that topic and of course, I want to be clear, but on the psychedelic piece of this now, of course, another bio individual aspect, obviously, but do you see examples of when people come through dealing with insomnia and situations similar to your own or some form of they're really limited on the amount of sleep that they're getting?

And yet, there's certain types of psychedelics that can be well suited for that? Or is there just a different protocol that you would bring in for people dealing with insomnia?

Yeah, great question. So, for things like this, my, my invitation is for people to go into, if they're, if they're feeling blockaded, is to go into a space where their heart can expand.

Where they can get into, get out of their minds.

Yes. Right? And I'm not just talking about the brain. I'm talking about the mind. They can get out of the mind space and trying to formulate and figure things out and rationalize and make sense and get into the space of being. And so the heart open space is an important space.

And this is why I feel like MDMA, MDA, heart open spaces, 2C B, these are really important spaces for people to get into, actually connect with themselves. And when people are looking to connect with themselves, MDMA is great to connect outwardly. But MDA, Sassafras, is the place that people go inward and they really get to connect with themselves and see themselves in an inward space.

Now, if you have a solid facilitator. Who knows how to move through the spirit wheel of, of spirit, mind, uh, body and heart.  You, you can go in with any substance. Mushrooms, psilocybin mushrooms are an amazing space to go into, to open up all those realms and to connect mind and body together. And heart, and that is a wonder.

It's a wonderful space if you have a solid facilitator who knows what they're doing, who's actually been in the realms and knows how to go into the realms.  Psilocybin is wonderful. There are some people who will work with MDMA or MDA and psilocybin at the same time who know what they're doing. I, my recommendation for people who are new to psychedelics is to start with one substance.

Yeah. And work with a facilitator. Yeah. Who knows what they're doing. You, it's a crapshoot if you do it by yourself.

Um, that's not my recommended space. And I am also not, uh, condoning the illegal and or illicit use of any substances. If it's not legal where you are, that's a no, no, don't do it at all. Go someplace where it's legal.

Find a facilitator that's going to work with you in some really awesome spaces. This has been a place where, uh,  I've worked with, with people who are veterans who have had  PTSD and all of these spaces that have stopped them from sleeping because there's bodies built around staying awake and bombs and guns and stuff. And so the brain gets engaged in a pattern of vigilance.

Yes.

And so psychedelics, if, if my hands, the way my hands are, right, are the wiring of the brain and you're wired around vigilance, when you go into the psychedelic space, there's an opportunity for those, those networks to just become disengaged for a little while.

And so you can rearticulate that and engage it in a different way. So you can see things differently. And so the tools that were online to protect from everything all the time have an opportunity to be disengaged and for you to create new tools. And this is why having guided experiences with very clear intentions on your end and very clear intentions of what your facilitator is doing and how they're looking to support you in having your experience, not making you have an experience is very, very important.

Because you become what is called neuroplastic. And so the plasticity of the brain and the nervous system is a, is a wonderful place to rewire around solid sleep. I've had people  who have gone to psychedelic experiences and said, you know what, I just, I just want to rest. That's my intention. And so they will come in, sit for a psychedelic experience and have the best sleep of their lives.

And what we'll do with that is we'll anchor something to it. We'll have them bring in a teddy bear or something that they're going to sleep with so that they can anchor to the teddy bear and anchor that sleep to the teddy bear and then they'll hold their teddy bear and that will remind them or the teddy bear or their blanket or whatever there will be right and  anchor to that and so it will remind their nervous system when they touch it.

Of that experience, which drives them back into that space to help them integrate the sleep processes. So there's a lot that you can do with this in, uh, in the, in the insomnia realm with psychedelics.

Okay. So people don't have to be too concerned necessarily. I'm sure again, case by case, but there's a room, even if their sleep isn't perfect and they're struggling even post.

So meaning like. They have a psychedelic experience. They don't have to be scared or something that if they don't get perfect sleep thereafter, that's going to mess with integration or kind of impact them and their, their journey thereafter. So like meeting almost one of the things we see for people with insomnia, commonly can almost be like that performance anxiety.

They don't have to feel like even if they get less sleep, the couple of nights after that's won't impact their integration possibilities.

Right. Yeah. Perfect. Great question. So one thing that I recommend when you're going for psychedelic experiences is have an intention. What do I want to know? What do I want to do?

Who do I want to be? And what do I want to understand? Right. And so I have an intention to explore those things, not an expectation to fix those things or create those things, because you're going to get what you get from your psychedelic experiences. Okay. It's not that it's a crapshoot, but you're going to get what you get.

And so your process. Is different than my process, different than the next person's process. So it's not a guarantee situation. It's a, your nervous system has to realign and it may take, there may be a gradient of time that it takes. And so your integration is your integration. And are you in this for a short game, quick result situation?

Are you in this for a long game? This is what I'm changing my life into. And, and you got to remember that if you're in your thirties, your forties, your fifties, you didn't get where you are overnight.

Yes.

You're not going to get out of it overnight. Even, even if psychedelics was able to cut your, your therapeutic dynamics by 20 years in comparison to something else, if you're 30, you still got 10 years to clean it up.

Right. Right. You still have  a gradient of time. So my invitation to people is to be mindful of thinking that psychedelics is another. A magic pill  to fix your stuff.

Okay. That is something that has been baked into our society by big pharma and the medical industry is that I have this pill and I'm going to fix your shit right now.

Yes. That's not for me. That's not cool. And this is where we, we really lean into  the gradient of time and the creation of a new body, the creation of a new psyche, the creation of a new sleep pattern, new dynamic, not like how you used to sleep, not like how that other person sleeps. This is a very important space.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Stop comparing yourself to other people and other people's processes and ride your process.

Beautiful tie. Okay. Well, one, I'm just so inspired by your story and the wisdom and to your point, I think that's so, so crucial because we do see for a lot of people coming in to listen, they're like, well, okay, so which pill can I take, which psychedelic, which whatever, like want that quick fix.

And I think you and I can both understand the why when you're just You're exhausted. You're you want this to kind of just end and I love your reframe that this is a journey and that there's an opportunity to step into intention and the long game of this, which is amazing. Well, every person that we do bring on the podcast, we do ask for questions around how they're now managing their sleep.

And I'm very curious to hear the latest for you given. your history and all that you've kind of conquered or, you know, in the process of. So our first question is, what is your sleep, nightly sleep routine look like right now?

Yeah, my nightly sleep routine is 10 minutes of stretching.

Okay. I open up my whole body before I go to sleep and I stretch.

And if there may be some foam rolling involved in that, but I stretch and I open up my body and that opens all of the The fascia and the connective tissue so that it can actually stretch and relax and fall into the place that it needs to fall into. That's the one thing I do. Um, I stop drinking water.

Two hours before I go to sleep.  

Beautiful.

You're talking, you're talking to a person who used to wet the bed. So I have a very intricate relationship with fluids and nighttime. So I stop water two hours before I go to sleep. I journal.  Anything that, that may be. That may keep me from sleeping,

I offer it to my journal and I write it in my journal and I say, I'm going to pick this back up.

I will pick this back up tomorrow and I'm and I follow up with it in the morning. And so what I'm doing is I'm giving my brain and my body and my psyche and everything an opportunity to let go of that for now. There's nothing else that I need to do or can do about this. And so I'm offering it to my journal and my journal holds that for me.

The other thing I do is I, I say this out loud  and  had to clear my throat there.  I say this out loud and, uh, I also write it in my journal. I sleep amazingly.  I sleep the whole night straight through.  

I wake up refreshed 10 out of 10. Energized 10 out of 10. And rested 10. And in the morning I track to see where I am in that 10 out of 10.

Sometimes it's 10. This morning I had straight 10s. Amazing!

Yeah. Right. And so when I do this, it's because it's not just because I'm, I'm, I'm making affirmations. What I'm doing is I'm speaking out loud so that my body actually hears it and feels the vibration and starts to prepare for that.  

And so me speaking it, the vibration is through my throat. It also comes back through my ears. So I hear it twice. So anybody that's familiar with marketing for all my entrepreneurs and stuff out there who are familiar with marketing, it takes six to seven times for us to really synchronize with something on the brain level.

And so I speak it out loud.

So I vibrate. There. I hear it. I see, I see myself in the mirror. That's three. I write it down. I see it on the paper. That's four. Plus my hand is writing it. That's five.

Yeah. And then when I'm done, I read it again. That's six. Okay. And so, right. And so what I'm doing is I'm putting this into my body. It takes 10 minutes to do.

Yeah. And my body, actually, I, I'm thinking about it now.  

Yeah. Right. Odium,  . Cue the yawns. Yeah.

So when I do, when I do that, uh, I, I, um, I get myself in, see, there you go. Yeah. I get myself into that space now.

I'm yawning.  I get into that parasympathetic space and I prepare myself to actually go to sleep. It, there are times where I wrote a book called Lum and an, and an uh, a whole album called Luminous Dark Alleys.

The Insomniac works.

Yes. And the last song is called sleep at last, and it's a lullaby that I wrote to myself. And when I listened to that song, it actually, the whole thing is sleep at last. Can it be alone in the dreamland, dreamland just for me, a place that, that that's only for my mind to see.  Right. And so, uh,  yeah, out of touch with reality.

And so all of this stuff. just drives into my body and then  I fall out. A mask is great for me. If there's lights and stuff around, a mask is wonderful for me. Um, if it's cold, I like to put like a, a hat on my head because cold, cold turns the temperature down to 68 in the house. It's freezing in here.

And so I put a hat on my head, something that's comfortable. I have this  hat that I got that's woven from yarn from Peru, and that is a very comfortable place for me. And so my body starts to tune down, uh, screens, screens off  90 minutes before I go to sleep.  

Hmm. Great.

I do my best. You know, sometimes, sometimes I don't. And if I don't, uh, I might, it affect does affect my sleep screens off, water off, go, go potty time before I go to bed  so that nothing's bothering me.

And yeah, that's pretty much,  

Oh my gosh. Okay. Beautiful.

And one thing that has been really awesome that I've incorporated in the last, I think six months is Sleepy. Uh, I'm not sure. Are you familiar with, uh, Soul CBD?

Oh, Soul, sure. Of course. Angie Lee's product. Yeah. I've messed with CBD products and all of this stuff.

Like, I didn't, I wasn't big on taking melatonin and all that, because like, I had nightmares and stuff like that. Um, when I, when I took, uh, Angie Lee's, Sleepy,  and Cole takes it. Cole does not like CBD at all, and she loves it. And so that has been an extra bonus on top of my sleep situation. I think that's, I think sleepy is what pushed me from like six, uh, six and a half to seven to eight hours.

Oh, that's incredible. What an endorsement. Yeah.  Love Angelee. Yeah. Amazing. Okay. So then in the flip side, in your mornings, what might we see in your morning routine with the idea that how you start your day can impact your sleep? Yeah.

First thing I do when I get up is I  breathe because the, the  need for oxygen is going to be different. I get up out of bed and There, there are days when I will get up and get my heart rate up to around 130 within 10 minutes of waking up. So most of the time I do that and there are some days that I don't, but most days I do that. I get up, first thing, first things first is a liter of fluids straight back.

Yeah.

Lida fluids, sea salt and, uh, concentrate mineral drops  to make sure that everything is, is getting what it needs to transmit whatever. And, uh, so I get up  Lida water, uh, MSM.  And MSM, NAC, and,  uh, this stuff called Brain Glow by Barlow Herbal that I drop in my water. And that's a liter straight down. And yeah, and then I journal again.

And so  I journal again, and I have some prompts in the morning that, uh, that I write on.  The first one is, who am I?  Without using my name, without using my occupation, who am I? And so this morning I was, I am the conductor.  First thing that comes, the first thing that comes out of my mind, who am I? I am the conductor.

The next thing is, what was my unconscious commitment?  And my unconscious commitment this morning was, right? Was to not step to the front of the orchestra and actually conduct my symphony of self.

I love that. And so what is, and the third, the third thing is what is my new conscious commitment?  And my new conscious commitment this morning was to make sure that every time I get up  in front of that orchestra to conduct my symphony of selves,  instead of having it conducted by things outside of me, external dynamics external control. That is where I'm in my truth. It's my symphony, right? Why am I having other things control my symphony? And so that was, that was my, that was my this morning. And then the next thing is the next and final thing I do in the morning is three things that I will do to level on myself today.

And so today is one hour alone in silence by myself because yesterday I had very, this past week, I've had very deep, uh, client situations. So one hour alone by myself, my, my amazing movement practice, it's my favorite place in the world. And today I will eat something that I absolutely love.  So three things to love on myself.

That's my commitment to myself for the day.

Wow. So intentional. Okay. That's a beautiful way to start your mornings. And then visually, what might we see in your space, like on your nightstand or in your environment?

On my nightstand is, uh, Curtis. Curtis is a teddy bear that I got from my ex wife. When we first started dating  and I had a teddy bear that got ruined and she bought it for me and it became like a, a, a place where I got some comfort at night.

So Curtis is there and on top of Curtis is my eye mask and a little cap  that I, that I can grab and put on my journal is there.  Because when I, if I do wake up at nighttime, if I do, and I do pretty there, there are some times that I wake up and I have things come in. And if I do not write those things down, I will not go back to sleep.

That's another thing that we could, we could totally dive into is when I have, when I, if you have things that are coming in, the things that are coming in might need to be written down.

Yes. Because they might be coming in as a source for you to explore. And so when I, when, when they come in, I write them down and then I'm able to go back to sleep right away.

If I don't write them down, I will stay awake. And do you have any comments, because we get this question a lot from people, have you discovered throughout all your years, any kind of preference for staying in bed if you are awake or going out to another room? You know, that age old kind of question of like CBTI versus just like being relaxing and just staying in your bed.

Well, if I'm up and I can't go to sleep, I won't relax,  right? Because I'm starting to spin on the, Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep. Oh my God, I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep. And then I get more scared. And so I may need to get up and change my, change my environment. Um, I also, if Cole is stressed,  I will feel her stress and that will keep me in the space where I, where I will, because we have a very empathetic relationship.

You co regulate with your partner. I know you know this. You co, you co regulate with your partner. So if she's stressed and I can feel the, like, I can, there's, there's yeah.  Adrenaline and cortisol, there's a feeling to it and I can feel it coming off of her. And so I will need to get up and go sleep in another room and I will go and I'll go lay on a couch or whatever.

And usually at that point I'll grab my journal, I'll grab my stuff and I'll go and I'll lay on a couch and I'll just write, woke up at this time. Um, you know, I'm, I'm letting this go right now, blah, blah. And then five minutes later, I'm asleep.

Beautiful. I love that. Okay. Yeah. So it's, it's not as if it's like, Oh, like a dogmatic, it's, it's feeling into, am I frustrated?

Am I starting to spin, like get myself out? Or maybe, you know, sometimes you're, it is just a quick thing and then you're back to the races, you know? Yeah. In your own bed. Okay.  Yeah. It's become more of a, of a crapshoot now, now that I've gotten all of those, those lies and stuff off the table.

Yeah. If something's affecting my sleep, it's probably, uh, a direct.

Influence of my day or what's happening in my immediate environment. And so I can adjust those things. I can adjust those things in real time, which makes it easier for me to get to sleep now. Where years ago, where I had all these lies and stuff that were tacked on, I had to get that stuff off the plate.

That's what was in the way. And so now that I've unclogged the works, if something is messing with me now, it's usually a real time dynamic that's in the way.

Okay, that's great. Well said. And the last question would be, and maybe you've already answered it, but you can let us know, so far to date, what would you say has made the biggest change to your sleep to date?

Or maybe said another way, biggest aha moment in managing your sleep?

Yeah. Um, I'm going to go back with honesty. Me being honest has, has been the game changer for me. And this has been the biggest challenge for most people that have come to me asking me about insomnia. And it's the one thing that they will go back on and hedge on.

Yeah.

They will say,  yeah, I can't tell my wife that. I can't tell my mom that. I won't do this. I won't change that. And I say, okay, well then, you know,  let me know how it's going. Yeah. Come back. Right. And let me know how it's going. Listen, everybody's journey is their journey.

Yeah. And, you know, if you're listening to this, you're watching this, this is your journey and you will never get any crap from me about what you choose your journey to be. There are other options. And if you choose to say that you can't, That is you putting a limiter on you, which puts a limiter on your sleep and your possibilities. And so you can always, it's  like going into a department store. You can try on honesty and then put it back on the rack if it doesn't work for you.

And I'm telling you that this has been the biggest game changer for me in hundreds of people that I've interacted with in the space is this honesty place has been revolutionary for me. And I will be an advocate of it. Period. Moving on. Ongoing. And if people don't like it,  if people don't like my honesty and what comes through me, there are 8.

3 billion other people you can have a conversation with. You don't have to talk to me. Right? And so this is, this is, I'm an advocate for honesty and truth and really understanding what that looks like for you as an individual because truth is relative, right? There's no absolute truth other than all truth is relative to the perspective of the beholder of that truth.

Wow.  

All right. I'll leave it there. I have something. I have something that I'll send to you.  It's called Todd's theory of relative truth.

Okay.

It's all about the relativity of truth. And if your listeners want to hear about it, maybe I'll put that up for y'all too.  

Perfect segue because, uh, definitely I'm clear anyone listening to this episode is going to want to follow you, learn more about your life, you know, listen to the things that you've created or be a part of the things that you're creating.

So what would be the best ways for people to do that?

Yeah. The best way to follow up with me is there where there's two,  one thing I want to just invite you to do is condor approach.  Okay. If you want to get to know me and you want to get to know what's going on with me, come to the Condor Approach. We do it every February and every September in Austin, Texas area.

Come to the Condor Approach. You can go to condorapproach. com. Condor like the bird c o n d o r approach. com and come. It's, it'll be the most awesome three days that you've been to in a long time. The community is wonderful. And you'll dive into the concepts and stuff that I use to support people and being in their truth.

And the foundation of what I teach people at The Condor Approach is,  you know, everything that you need to know, but you've been taught how to meticulously and intricately talk yourself out of it.  And so looking at yourself in your face and being able to see your truth is what we talk about. So thecondorapproach.com is where you can find that. You can find me on Instagram at Condor Approach at The Condor Approach  and at Tahfree, T A H F R E E. That's my personal account and that's where I have the most fun. That's where I talk about emotions. That's where I talk about truth and honesty and you'll see my fitness stuff and you'll be able to see what's going on with my body in real time there.

Those are the best places to find me.  

Wow. Well, Todd, thank you so much for sharing this wisdom, hard won wisdom, and just really such a refreshing take on some of the real root things that for so many people are lurking and keeping them up at night. And so just really, really appreciate you taking the time and just being such a beautiful example of what's possible because that's what we need when we are.

Struggling and in these states to know that it's really is possible to not only just get through this, not just survive, but to thrive and have this whole other body of truth as you're speaking to on the other side.

So thank you so very much. I appreciate you. It's wonderful to be here.

Thank you.

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